Why So Twitchy Babe?
by aliaslaceygreen
Summary: BABE...well, by now everyone knows it's not a one shot any longer.....a bit of smut, friendly to morelli, and a HEA!
1. Chapter 1

Ok, maybe getting this little scene out of my head will help clear it enough to work on The Big Chill…..this has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING else I have written…..All characters etc, blah blah, not mine they are Janets….

**Why so twitchy babe?**

The Navigator was a big vehicle. Massive; Merry Man sized. One little white girl should able to comfortably settle quietly down into its leather seats for a few hours of a stake out, right?

Except I didn't do settle, and I didn't do still and I didn't do quiet. And all three tonight, with _him_ sitting next to me, seemed damned near impossible.

It was dark. And a bit on the brisk side outside, but the A/C was on in the SUV. And I needed to pee. And the reason that was a really big issue? Ugh. I sighed and moved again, trying to settle my thoughts as much as my body.

"Why so twitchy, babe?"

He speaks! Three hours and not a single word. And he has to call me on my fidgeting, doesn't he?

I can pretend to have settled; I will stop moving, and be quiet, and show him!

I lasted thirty seconds. He was staring at me; I was staring out the window at the skips house. But I could feel his intense gaze on my head, compelling me.

I twisted around in the seat and saw a brief smile cross his face. He knew he won. Ass.

"I have something I need to tell you."

Silence. Blank face. Waiting.

"It may change your mind about having me do tomorrow's distraction job."

"Talk babe."

"I'm –uhm, I think that I may be a little bit pregnant."

Still blank faced, he replied, "Babe, that's a yes or no kind of thing."

"Yeah. I know."

He didn't say anything else, so I guess I needed to continue. "But I'm afraid to find out."

"You and Joe fighting again, babe? It's not right to withhold that from him. The baby's father has a right to know; despite your feelings toward him right now…it's only fair."

"I know. That's why I'm telling you."

I think I just caught Ranger speechless. His eyes tried to drill into my soul.

"Joe and I always use protection…."

"Shit, babe. And…fuck, Steph. What are you saying?"

"I think it's your baby."

The chilly air in the Navigator was nothing compared to the look he was giving me. Shit. I am going to be giving birth in a hut with mud floors someplace they haven't learned the benefits of hand washing yet.

He pressed his phone on, and spoke. "We need relief."

He disconnected and continued staring at me.

I am so dead. I couldn't read a thing in his stony glance. Maybe that wasn't absolute fury. Maybe it was simply shock. Maybe it really was Joe's baby. That might be a better thing in the long run. Joe wants kids. Fuck. No way is he going to want to raise a child of Rangers'. I could just see it now, a little mini-Ranger, trying to be turned away from the dark side by Joe. I thunked the back of my head against the window glass and sighed.

I gave in first, and turned away from his unblinking countenance. I saw the headlights in the side view mirror just before Ranger turned on the Navigator and pulled away from the curb, no acknowledgement to the guys relieving us.

We drove away from the skips location and I figured he would be taking me home to my apartment to grill me in the comfort and privacy of home. He didn't turn there, so maybe Haywood? Nope, he missed that turn too. I wasn't going to ask. I could wait. After all, we are going north, and there are no third world countries to the north. I don't think Canada counts. They wash their hands at least.

I kept twitching, wiggling. I never had told him I needed to pee, I realized with a start. He could drive for hours before being overtaken by such trivia as bodily functions. Maybe the Navigator would need gas. It was a gas-guzzling SUV; it didn't have his staying power. It would need to be fed.

We pulled off finally. I wonder if he had ESP'd me, because I jumped out of the truck before it even stopped in front of the pump.

I looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my hands a few minutes later. I didn't look as scared as I felt. No one would guess I was maybe being kidnapped or something if I went to the cashier and tried to signal them with anything other than the flat out truth.

Maybe I could tell them. Ranger was outside feeding that behemoth. I rolled my eyes. And _what_ was I going to say? That the possible father of my possible baby was possibly kidnapping me because we were three exits north of home?

It didn't matter that I couldn't formulate the proper sentence. I opened the door of the restroom and Ranger was leaning against the wall, waiting, arms crossed. All black, painted on SWAT uniform. Eyes encased in dark glasses. Don't these stupid teenaged employees notice anything? It's freaking 11:30 at night and he's walking around in dark glasses! They should be calling the cops on general principal. I looked outside; hope fading when I didn't see any flashing lights.

"Babe."

He pushed off the wall, turned and walked to the door, and obviously expected me to follow. And I did.

He closed the door behind me, and walked around to his side. He got in and slammed the door closed. Damn, I don't think I have ever seen Ranger angry. Well, at least at me. I have seen him before scaring the shit out of lowlifes, and always prayed that I would never be subject to an angry Ranger. Looks like I can cross that off my list of things to do. He handed me a small bag, and I peeked into it.

A pregnancy test? He bought me a fucking pregnancy test at the gas station. If my mother could see this. Oh good god. My mother. Damn damn damn!

"Problem, babe?"

"I'm going to have to tell my mother. You know that, right? She is going to find out I am a nymphomaniac."

"Maybe we should see if you are pregnant first."

And he turned his attention to the road. Great. Angry, pissed off and quiet. Yippee.

This wasn't going as well as it could now was it? And hey, if I think this is enjoyable, just wait. I get to do it all over again, and next time I get to tell Joe I'm pregnant with someone else's baby.

I closed my eyes and settled into the seat. It wasn't even worth asking where we were going. He wouldn't tell me.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't own 'em, will give 'em all back to JE sometime. Etc etc

THANKS to all for your reviews---by far the most in quantity and _enthusiasm_ that I have ever received!!!!

SMUT ahead…fair warning…

I felt his fingers on the back of my neck. His hand had trailed along the edge of the seat back, and had silently found its way to my neck. He was slowly running his finger along the edge of my hair line, up along my ear, and sweeping back again. It was soothing, and compelling, and setting my blood on fire all at once.

I moaned involuntarily. What he could do to me! My brain was unable to focus on anything other than the tingling that ran from every place his finger touched me straight to my core. I moved, trying to get closer without really scooting over. Shoot, we were on a stake out for another two hours. And he had his earpiece in. Whoever was monitoring tonight was going to get a free show if he didn't stop. Because my body was only too willing to betray my brain. My body wanted a Ranger induced orgasm. My brain knew it was a bad idea. A _very bad_ idea.

_Joe and I had been trying very hard. We were somewhat together. But not. We both seemed to be aware our relationship was in its death throes, but neither of us would just take the gun and shoot the thing dead. After all, who wants to take the blame? And it wouldn't really be cheating if I let Ranger make love to me. No one had signed the death certificate, that's all. Our relationship was on artificial life support._

_Besides if you asked Joe, it wasn't his fault. And it wasn't my fault, nuh uh. We both knew the assassin was Ranger. Ranger, who I couldn't get out of my head. Ranger, who Joe gave up trying to make disappear from my life. _

_He saw the stupidity in that move. He had come to think of Ranger as my bodyguard. My protector. I thought of Ranger as my own personal demi-god. Joe didn't know that part. Shit. After the way the two of them bickered over me during the Dickie thing, I wasn't sure if he didn't have an accepted role in my relationship with Joe. Fall guy. Maybe he was destined to be part of our relationship._

_Joe came to realize it was foolish to ask the one person who was willing to die for me to disappear from my life. My life expectancy may be shortened dramatically if I didn't have Ranger at my beck and call. And yeah, yeah I could quit the job; listen to my mother, be a good Burg girl. _

_But the past few years have proven nothing if they haven't proven that I can fall into shit faster …well can't you see me and my insatiable curiosity? My spidey sense? I don't think I can turn that off, even if I gave up my job and married Joe and popped out 2.5 kids. I'm a magnet for disaster. I would be the random crime victim statistic; the hapless identity theft victim. The one with the car from recall hell._

All of these thoughts of Joe and I together; the way I normally try to ignore the awesome power of Ranger, aren't working. I can feel his fingertips burning me. He hasn't said a word to me since he picked me up a few hours ago, not since he almost smiled and said 'Babe' as I got in the truck.

And yet, he is subtly applying pressure. Pressure in the form of rough calloused hands touching me, exuding their heat, and the promise they offer for unbelievable ecstasy.

I found, in the fullness of time, that I was plastered up against him. Don't ask how it happened. I think he must have moved closer to me. His arm was draped over my shoulder, he was embracing me. But still his eyes were on the back door of the nightclub, waiting on the skip. I guess if you are Batman you can totally concentrate on two disparate goals at once.

The smell of Bulgari was making me pant. My head was overrun with wicked thoughts of licking him from top to bottom.

"Babe." He said quietly, gruffly, and I felt the rumble of laughter shaking inside his chest.

"Don't promise what you won't deliver," he whispered into my hair, sending shivers coursing through me.

I turned my head up to give him my patented death glare for listening in on my thoughts and his lips crashed down onto mine. His hand held my face, and he sucked hungrily on my bottom lip, a starving man in search of a meal. He threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling me up onto his lap at the same time that he was shifting the seat back and the steering wheel up. I straddled him and was pushed strategically down onto his length. I felt him throbbing through my sweat pants. I was going to get that orgasm, and it was going to be soon!

Ohmygod, his lips were everywhere, and where they weren't his fingers were. I sucked his lip, his tongue. I ran my hands through his hair, pulling on the cord and freeing it to slide through my fingers. "Babe," he groaned, thrusting his hips up as he pressed my ass down onto him, sliding me along him, making me moan in pleasure.

I began to nip at his ear, to tell him I needed him now, when my nose hit the earpiece squarely. "Fuck," I whispered desperately, and sat up, breathlessly pushing my hair out of my face, smoothing my t-shirt down.

"Good god babe, you are going to be the death of me," he whispered, pulling me back to him. He pressed the button on his phone, "Need relief." The response that came back was that our FTA was spotted on the other side of town two minutes ago. The stakeout could be ended; a team in the area was responding.

Ranger pulled the earpiece from his ear, and set it on the dash. He tugged me back into his embrace, his forehead leaning against mine, his eyes boring into my soul. We stayed like that for long minutes, eyes locked, trying to catch our breath. Trying to rationalize, each in our own way, what just happened. Or almost happened.

I was feeling a mind meld or something. I felt naked, raw, exposed. And incredibly turned on. The smell of his body, the heat of his breath, the hard pressure from his hands around my waist and his cock still pulsing underneath me, was about to be my undoing.

He took his hand from my waist finally, and tugged my face up to look at his. "Babe, I need you. Are we going to do this?"

I looked deep into his eyes, black pools of lust and desire, and I saw an emotion I would never be able to put into words. He didn't want to know if we were going to be having sex in a few minutes. He wanted to know if he would own my heart forever. Why didn't he know he had owned it for years?

He took my hesitation in answering for a no. "When are you and Morelli gonna get your shit in order?" He abruptly let go of me, and made a motion like he was trying to pull himself back together. I climbed off him, and knelt on the seat, looking at him. I was confused. He should know that Joe and I are in the bottom of the ninth, two out, two strikes already. The rest of the Burg seemed to know the score. He's Batman, for Christ sake.

"Ranger you know everything. How can you say you don't know if we're together?"

"Babe, the only thing worse than knowing you are with Joe is watching you two on closed circuit television. That's why I took it out after the Dickie fiasco. I couldn't handle knowing he was there all the time."

I was giving him a good impression of a fish out of water, because he gently ran his finger along my chin, closing my mouth. "I'm only human babe."

"He and I are never going to work," I admitted to him, finally; beaten down by a face that made me feel like I had just smothered his puppy.

"Why are you still with him?"

"I don't know," I shook my head sadly.

He turned the ignition and motioned to me to buckle up. I sunk back into the large seat, defeated, deflated, depressed. I had gotten this close to sex with Ranger, again. My mind flashed to him under my blanket that morning when Julie was missing, and I shuddered. What if he hadn't heard the door? I sometimes wish Joe had walked in on us. Then this would have all been settled.

I looked out into the dark night, watching the streetlamps speed by. What was upsetting me most wasn't that I almost cheated on Joe. It was that I hurt Ranger. We were nearing my apartment. I didn't want to be alone. And I didn't want Joe to show up in the middle of the night. I couldn't handle that.

"Can I stay at Haywood?" I asked quietly, watching him out of the corner of my eye. Would he know I was offering to continue where we left off? Would he get that I was trying desperately to have the decision made for me?

He didn't speak, but turned around on the deserted street and headed for RangeMan.

He opened the door of the Navigator, and helped me out. And right into his arms. The door closed and I was pressed against the vehicle, his body pinning me in place. He bent his head close to my ear, and he breathed heavily. "Babe. No teasing. If you come to the 7th floor with me tonight, I am taking that as consent."

He sucked strongly on the side of my neck, making me whimper, and ground his hips into mine, a promise of what would be. I could barely stand; my body was shaking so strongly with desire.

My arms were around his neck, trying to keep myself upright. The guys had already gotten the audio feed of the peep show earlier; I didn't want to give them a free viewing too. I rubbed my face against his chest, my heart pounding, my breath erratic. Hell, we might not make it to the 7th floor! I murmured something unintelligible, but affirmative. He pulled away a bit, and wrapped his arm around my waist as we headed for the elevator.

As he aimed his key fob, he bent to me one last time. "Four or seven babe?"

"Seven," I whispered, my hand snaking behind his back, running along the waist of his cargos.

When the elevator door opened we almost fell out as one. We were so wrapped up in each other. We were a tangle of arms and legs, and t-shirt sleeves and bra straps entangled. Ranger finally picked me up and shoved the door open with his hip, tossed the keys on the sideboard and made a beeline for the bedroom.

He dropped me on the comforter, that incredibly soft, black satin decadence that he kept on his bed. I was swallowed in its depths. I lay, breathing in the billowing scent of Ranger that emanated from the covers, watching him strip. Three guns and two knifes, a utility belt full of other toys, and the boots, all relegated quickly and efficiently to the corner of the room.

In two strides he was at the bed. He sat down on the edge, and gently lifted my foot. He quietly and carefully removed my boot, and my sock, and began to massage my foot. I was not going to make it long. I was in a mini heaven already, the effects of his fingers setting me off, making me squirm. He turned to me with what I called his wolf grin, and he pounced on me after both feet were freed and pampered. His body was panther like as he crawled up my body, silently and stealthily, running his fingers along my legs, up my torso, and through my hair.

I could feel the strength of his desire throbbing against my belly and it was making me squirm. He didn't give me any relief; he just took his fingers and ran them under my t-shirt, and removed it from my boneless body. His face dove then into the valley of my chest, and he fingered the lace edge of my bra, murmuring quietly something about how sexy it was. But I didn't care what he was saying. I just wanted to feel his lips suck my nipples, I wanted to feel him palm my breasts, and I wanted to feel him inside me.

He seemed to possess far more hands than is possible, because I felt him in my hair and at my breast and removing my sweatpants, with a smack on my ass and a guttural laugh as I raised my hips to him. He looked down at my matching black lace thong and he bit it as he growled his approval.

"Babe." He growled, crawling back up to my lips and he kissed me senseless. I was gone. As his hands reached my breast this time, I was over come with lust, and I scrambled to undo his cargo pants, and get them off. I felt his cock as it found freedom. My hands grasped him and his groan as I began stroking him made me even wetter. He gave himself up finally to my ministrations. He let me guide him to my center, and I opened my eyes as I felt his head begin to press against me. His eyes, oh god, his eyes. He had lost the blank mask he wore for the world and the raw need, the lust; dare I say the love I saw in his eyes as he pressed his length into me made me want to cry.

We battled for hours, to see who ultimately the winner was. Every time I felt his cock slide into me, I was willing to sign over the world to him, if only he would thrust deep into me once more.

And I could have had anything I wanted handed to me on a silver platter when I was licking him senseless, sucking deeply on his cock. That which had given me so much pleasure deserved such pampering itself, don't you think?

Xxxx

I sighed at the memory. And groaned at thought of the next morning. Because that's when I knew I needed to make a decision. Ranger dropped me at my apartment after a wonderful Ella breakfast. And he kissed me. And his kiss, it was possessive, and passionate. And it was also apologetic and dismissive.

"Fix it babe."

And now, here I was, again in the Navigator, a home pregnancy kit in a paper bag at my side, being driven to god knows where by a very angry man.


	3. Chapter 3

My sighs and groans didn't do a thing to distract Ranger from his zone. Where were we going? We hadn't actually been on the road all that long. It probably only felt like I was going to my execution. I glanced over at my stony faced captor. Nothing revealed.

I sat up, suddenly taking note of the change in the roads. We were in a neighborhood. Classy understated wealth. Ranger pulled up to a gate, his window down, and let his thumb print be scanned. At the beep, he entered a numeric code and the gates slowly swung open.

My heart rate had gone up – I was surprised it couldn't be seen beating wildly outside my chest. I looked at him again, and still nothing. No, there was a crack. He looked tired. Overcome? I was privy to this change in his expression. I don't think anyone else would notice.

I glanced at the clock on the dash. 1:30 am. I knew I was tired. But I didn't think we had come here for a good nights sleep.

"Babe." Ranger pulled me out of my thoughts, taking my hand in his. We were in a garage. There were three black and one midnight blue sports cars. Well, until the blue one, I would have bet on the bat cave.

"Ranger. Where are we?"

"We need to talk babe."

"Yeah. I know." I was grasping my pocket book with one hand, the bag with the test in the other, and stood looking around, mouth agape.

He turned and walked to a door, and I followed. What else was I to do? My head was swiveling in every direction as I tagged behind him. We walked through a darkened kitchen, a formal dining room and ended up in a family room or den. He sat me on the couch in the dark, and moved to turn on a light on the end table. He took a seat in the chair next to me. Inquisition time is what it felt like.

He sat quietly, staring at me. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I had no idea what he wanted me to say. His face as usual was giving nothing away.

I studied it. I hadn't seen him in three weeks; since that night I had thrown caution and sense to the wind and decided to take control of my life. Control and my life in one sentence. Sure. See how well that went. I groaned. He showed up this morning, and had a series of jobs. Asked me to do them like that night hadn't ever happened.

_After I had been dropped off at my apartment that morning, I had had to field calls from Joe. He had stopped by. Where had I been, he wanted to know. Shit, shit, double shit. He knew I wasn't home all night._

_I didn't lie exactly then, but I did neglect to tell the whole truth. The truth wasn't about to save this relationship. It was all over, except for the dirt being tossed on the coffin. We both knew it._

_"Cupcake.__ I can't compete with someone you can't see through. You see every fault of mine; you magnify every perceived ill toward you on my part. You look at Manoso like he's a fucking superhero, when in reality he is a glorified thug! A killing machine for the government maybe, but that doesn't make him any less a killer."_

_"He has no conscience. He would do anything he was told Cupcake. You are only a diversion for him. You think he's in love with you? He can't love. He wants in your pants and he'll tire of you soon as he gets what he wants. And I can't be waiting in the wings. Decide what you want. But think on it carefully Steph. Sleep with him and you will be alone and hurting for a long time."_

_All the shouting, the yelling, the sullen quiet staring at the wall; it didn't do a thing._

_"Whatever Stephanie.__ Do what you want; I'm outta here."_

_All I heard in his entire diatribe? He didn't think we had been together yet. Saved by his rose colored glasses. I thought that he meant gone till things blew over, till the boys missed me too much, till Bob wanted to see me. But he had meant it literally. He had gone undercover for a few weeks. I had heard from him once. And he was still pissed. _

I looked at Ranger, the shadows hugging the edge of his face, his expression a seething façade. He was ensconced in the chair, leaning back, his long legs stretching out, crossed at the ankles. His hands caressed the edges of the arm chair, his fingers splayed wide. His eyes contemplated me. They didn't blink and they didn't waver. They simply forced me to look at him.

I sat on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, paper bag in my hand, fingers rolling the edges of it nervously. I was staring back. I couldn't read him. Should I go take the stupid test? I hated that he probably could read every one of my thoughts as they rolled out of my brain, but I couldn't get a bead on any part of where his mind was. It was more than frustrating.

It felt like hours that we sat, staring, but probably it wasn't. Ranger stood up and moved to the couch. He sat down next to me, his leg touching mine, my betraying body reacting to his nearness, the heat his body radiated.

His fingers slowly found their way to my neck and he began to massage the knots, the tension from my shoulders. I leaned back involuntarily. I was putty under his palms.

"What was Morelli's reaction to this babe?" He finally asked, pulling me back into his embrace. His broad chest below me and his massive arms wrapped about me, made me feel somewhat safer. This was the Ranger I knew.

"He doesn't know."

"Did you fix things with him? I haven't seen you in a while."

He let that hang in the air, the significance not lost on me. Had I been avoiding _him_?

"Are you together?"

I shook my head briefly. The dead space between the words we spoke seemed to express volumes. I couldn't talk. I couldn't formulate words, think things through clearly.

Ranger took the bag with the pregnancy test from my hand. Here goes nothing I thought; it was time to get some answers. But he placed it on the table beside the couch.

"There is something very significant about you telling me before you discussed it with Morelli. How I am not sure; I want to examine that a bit."

I swallowed and nodded. My voice wasn't something I trusted yet.

"You said you and Morelli use protection?"

I nodded again.

"Condoms? Present tense?"

"Yeah. No, past. We're not together anymore."

"Off again?"

"Done."

"I thought you were on the pill, Babe."

"I am."

"Then why?"

"In case. I didn't want him bringing anything home with him."

"Babe."

"You used condoms with your boyfriend, but with me…"

"I trust you."

"You think I haven't been with anyone since our night two years ago?"

"No, not that. I guessed you must have been." I could feel my face flushing.

"Babe."

"I trust you. You would have said something if you thought there was a need."

"Babe." That sounded like a groan. Unbelieving. Astonished.

I turned around then, in his arms. "Ranger, you have always been there for me. I have always trusted you with my life. Of course I would trust you."

"But you don't trust Joe."

In a small voice, I said "no."

I had never had anyone make me work this out before, talk it through; not in the heat of the moment of a fight or passion, and certainly never in the clear light of day. It was a painful experience. Telling. I felt naked.

His fingers went back to massaging me, and we didn't speak. He stood and took my hand. He turned out the light, and led me along the hallway to some stairs. We ascended, his hand at the curve of my back, and he guided me to a bedroom. No lights, he just sat me on the edge of a bed in the dark, and came to sit beside me. "It's late. Lie down," he whispered.

My head was so overrun by emotion, and I was thoroughly exhausted. I didn't argue. Ranger was always safe.

He removed my sneakers, and then took his boots and utility belt off. He came to the bed, and I felt it dip from his weight. A moment later, his arm snaked over my waist and he lay against me, my body fitting into his as if they were designed together.

"Babe this is hard for me too, you know that? Don't you? Talking to you about you having sex with another man, when all I can think of is us together, and how I feel when I am inside you, how much I want to feel you always. Knowing how you feel about him, thinking of you being hurt. I want you to be mine. Not his."

I felt a tear leaking from my eye.

"What do you want to happen next? What are you going to tell Joe?"

My voice was thin; wavering and shaky when I answered him. "You don't want a family; you said you didn't do things stupid like pregnancy. You always said your love didn't come with a ring…"

"Babe," he cut me off.

"Why do you think you're pregnant?" he whispered to me, his fingers sliding along the edge of my t-shirt, sliding up my skin, making me shake.

"I'm late."

His fingers popped my bra, and his hand settled on my breast, cupping it in his hand, rubbing my nipple gently, causing me to shiver.

"Are you regular?" I didn't trust my voice, so I nodded.

"Has that ever happened before?" His other hand tugged me against him, and it settled on my belly. He stroked it, running gentle, protective circles along the slopes of its curves. I felt sheltered, but at the same time, invaded, on trial.

"How do you know so much? How do you do this non-emotional stuff? It's like the Spanish inquisition. Next question! Next question!" I started to get all worked up, and his arms captured me closer, and held me in the dark.

"Shhh. Babe. Shhh." I rested my head on his arm and listened to him breathe. His steady breathing and the even smooth strokes along my body caused me to calm down, finally. I closed my eyes and let him hold me close.


	4. Chapter 4

We didn't make love. He held me and let me sleep. A few times one of us woke, and woke the other with kisses, caresses, and yes, questions. Whispers in the dark. He told me he was the youngest of seven, and had 4 older sisters. He reminded me he had been married and had a child. He knew more than a little regarding pregnancy. He told me we didn't need the test, either. He knew I was pregnant by the way my breasts felt fuller in his hands. They were changing because of the baby, he told me.

I couldn't even wrap my head around the idea he recalled the feel of my breasts to even judge. It's like he really is a superhero, I thought for the thousandth time since I met him. The night was like 'Batman Does Emotion 101.' I learned more about him overnight, in the dark stillness of this bedroom, than I had learned in the four years of our friendship.

He heard me; I must have said that out loud. "Babe, I am human. A fallible stupid human male, who has done and said really stupid shit to you in the past," I remember him saying. What does that mean though, I pondered. Is he saying he does want a family? A relationship?

"I want this to be my baby," he said, again responding to my brains meandering, massaging my belly gently but possessively. "You know, Morelli is going to want it to be his, too, don't you? We are very competitive when it comes to you," he grinned at me in the dark, the moonlight glinting on his face, making his expressions somehow softer.

"Yeah."

"But I think it's mine… and I always win."

"But you don't always follow the rules…," I began to protest weakly.

"I do… my play book has different rules is all," he laughed lowly into my hair, pulling me closer to him again.

"And I don't have a copy to follow," I whined pointlessly. His body, his scent, his warmth, I would give the world to stay in his embrace forever. Rules be damned.

He laughed out loud then.

"It will be your baby, Steph. And that makes me love it. Because I love you."

"But…"

"Babe, what are your feelings for Julie?"

"Why, I love her, she's a great kid!"

"Because of her, or cause she's mine?"

"Both."

"You don't have an issue with Rachel."

"No."

"If it's his, it's his."

"I will love it because it's yours babe."

"But Rachel, she's the past."

"Joe, he's past, too. Isn't he?"

"Yes."

"You haven't been with him since that night we were together."

"We are done. It's over."

"Does he know this, or is it your wish that it's over?"

"It's over. He may require some reminders. But I am finished with him."

The next thing I knew, I was awakened by an alarm in my ear. His watch was going off. 'Shit.' Then 'Shh, go back to sleep.' It was dark still, and I was comfortable under the covers, so I did. I missed the warmth of his body, but snuggled into the covers he tucked around me. I heard him call Tank and growl something about ASAP and tell them they'd have to wait. And 'at home,' before I slipped back into dreamland.

Later, I felt a kiss on my cheek.

"Wha-- what?" I mumbled.

"I have to go, babe."

"No. Why?" I twisted around to look at him. Black SWAT, but not the same from last night. Freshly showered. Smelled the Bulgari. "But you're the boss."

"Not this time. I'll leave you the keys to the Navigator. Don't blow it up, ok?"

"I don't know where I am."

"GPS, babe. Don't worry about the house alarms." And he kissed me. Deeply. Soul bindingly. His hand reached out then, and I felt him rub my stomach, pat it; but I was mostly asleep. And he was gone in the pre-dawn light.

As the sun rose higher in the sky I woke again, disoriented in a strange bed. After roaming through a few rooms I came to the obvious decision this was the bat cave. He had taken me to the bat cave. I fell into a chair in the living room as the thought he had always said it was forever ran through my head.

And I was alone. I had snooped and found photos of me, photos of us, in a variety of places throughout the house. My heart pounded at the implications. I snooped some more and came across him as a child in a scrapbook. His baby pictures made me grasp my stomach; bite my lip, to keep me from crying.

I needed to hear him tell me that last night, his little bit of exposure, his opening up, that it wasn't a mirage. But he never had said he wanted to be together, had he? I called him on his cell but it went to voice mail.

I couldn't any longer put it off…I was alone. Alone and pregnant and unsure of who was the father of my child. When did my life become a Jerry Springer show???!!! All those things last night he said, he had said out of fear, he hadn't meant them. He didn't really want the baby. He never said he wanted a relationship with me. He had said he was competitive. Did that mean he felt he won? He ran off already. Abandoned me. Did that mean he hadn't meant the bat cave was forever either?

I showered and decided to go back home, my dark thoughts torturing me. My obvious lack of self-confidence determined to convince me that he didn't care. He never just straight out told me he loved me and he wanted us to be a family. No just that he hoped he won some contest against Joe!!!

In a black mood now, I tore through the house and found the keys next to the front door, in a bowl similar to the one at the apartment. But the keys weren't the only thing there. There was a small velvet black box. And a piece of paper tucked under it. My eyes were drawn to it; I was shaking. I looked and saw that on the paper was one word in Ranger's large, easy scrawl. It said, 'Babe.'

I picked up the box, and the paper, and turned the paper over, but there was nothing else. Just 'Babe'. I shoved the box and paper in my pocket and made a mad dash to get out of the house, away from here. My head was spinning with all sorts of thoughts. This man was the most frustrating person I had ever met! I was afraid to open the box. I didn't want to know what was in it or why. I didn't think I would be able to handle the implications of any of my conclusions, so I went with denial.

The GPS didn't fail me, and I got to Haywood to collect my car. As I got out of the Navigator, I noticed the paper bag on the seat where he must have placed it. I got my car, and went home to my apartment and set the bag down on the counter. He said he was sure. He had said that thing about my breasts. My hand moved to them, and I thought some about my breasts in his hands, and my mind went fuzzy. I finally just sighed loudly and shook myself. I looked at the bag and then turned away. For some reason I decided he should be here when I took the test.

He didn't call or come by. I slept fitfully and woke in the morning with a feeling of dread.

I called his cell again. No answer. I called Tank then.

"Where is he?"

"Steph."

"Where is he??"

"In the wind."

"No. How long?"

"As long as it takes."

"No. Did he say anything?"

"He told me to watch over you Bomber."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Ok." I dropped the phone onto the couch and tucked my knees up to my chin and began to shake.

Xxxxxxx

THANK YOU for all of your incredibly enthusiastic reviews!! I am loving the detailed soul searching you are all attempting on behalf of our favorite man in black!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Twitchy 6

I didn't hear the door unlocking. Or the footsteps padding into the living room. For two days I had sat on the couch; crying and shaking, afraid for Ranger's life. For me, for my (our?) baby. I had never once feared his ability to return before! He had left many times. It was, as he had always said, the reason that he didn't do relationships. Well at least it was the reason he was willing to admit out loud. Whatever other reasons may be lurking around in his head I wasn't privy to.

I rubbed my hand over the still non-existent bump of my stomach, and recalled Ranger's caresses of a few nights ago. I reassured my child it wouldn't be fatherless. Please god, let it be his baby, and let him come back!!! I was angry at him for not telling me he was leaving. Furious at myself that I kissed him goodbye half asleep, not aware of the horrid implications of his saying he wasn't the boss this time.

I had no idea if he really did want the baby or not. Or me or not. Yes, he said he loves me, I screamed silently at myself—but that's not new and that doesn't change things. He loves me and has told me many times, the other part of me tried to convince myself. If I was prone to pulling out clumps hair in abject frustration, I would be bald right about now. Ranger loving me had never been at issue. What was eating at me was the 'I always win'; the 'I want it to be mine but I won't say I want a relationship with you'; the absolutely frustrating way he has about him that causes me to do what he wants, and never seems to leave him exposed or vulnerable.

I moved to the bed at some point and subsisted on next to nothing to eat, which was all I had in the fridge. I couldn't keep down what I did eat anyway. The damned paper bag sat on the kitchen counter, next to the box and the annoyingly cryptic note. 'Babe.' Fuck BABE! What the hell was that supposed to _mean_???? The damned bag glared at me every time I walked through the room, perfectly useless now. I _had_ developed what I guessed was morning sickness. And I _hadn't_ developed enough nerve to open the velvet box.

The phone moved with me from bed to couch. I didn't want to miss a call from Ranger. And I didn't want to talk to anyone else. My mother had left a trillion calls, it seemed. And I was only out of contact for two flipping days! Good god, the idea of having to tell her I was pregnant and unsure of the baby's father was far scarier than just saying it was Ranger's and be done with it. So I decided that no contact was the best option for the time being.

I wouldn't answer Tank's calls, not after the first of his 'check-ins.' I decided that no news was good news. And that he wouldn't give me bad news over the phone anyway. I decided talking to him was pointless too. We didn't really talk anyway. Tank wasn't a conversationalist. He was doing his duty, and had no idea why he was to check in, but Ranger told him to, so he did. Good doggie. Fuck, that's rough. I'm losing all perspective. Must be starvation. I have barely kept a cracker down in days.

At some point it registered that someone was in the room. But I wasn't getting the normal shivers down my spine that indicated Ranger, and I wasn't feeling a spidey thing that indicated stalkers, so I actually tuned out the fact someone had just gained access to my apartment without my say so.

I didn't stir till I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me back to consciousness. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and wasn't particularly welcoming with my "What are you doing here Joe?"

I hadn't seen Joe since our last show down. And I didn't really need to relive that particular experience. For goodness sake, how hard is it to understand 'It's _over_?' I thought.

"Tank asked me to look in on you. He said you won't talk to him."

"Tank? Where'd you see Tank?" I pulled myself up into a sitting position and tucked my sweat-pant clad legs under my chin.

"At the station, Cupcake. He said Ranger was in the wind and he was supposed to be keeping an eye on you?" I could hear the disdain, the irritation in his voice as he said it. I guess he thought I would at least heed his warning to stay away from Ranger, even if we weren't together. Oh Morelli, how little you know Stephanie Plum.

"You look awful Cupcake."

"Don't call me cupcake. Why would you care?"

"Steph. Have you eaten lately?"

"Go away."

"Eat something first, ok?" he pleaded, walking toward the kitchen. Good luck with that I thought. Unless the food fairy had been by while I was asleep, all that was there was a quart of sour milk, a dusty can of tomato soup and some crackers.

"Ok fine, if it will get you to leave me alone," I mumbled, paying no real attention to what he was doing. Why couldn't I wallow in freaking peace?

"Steph." His voice was tight.

I looked up and saw Joe standing at the entrance to the living room, the paper bag in his hand, staring at it.

I blanched.

"Cupcake. Are you…" His face broke into a smile. "Are you?"

Fuck, I thought. That was beyond stupid leaving that there. I nodded my head. "I think so," I mumbled.

In two steps he was at the couch, sitting beside me, "You don't seem too thrilled."

"Joe."

"I know. We broke up Steph. Been there before, haven't we? But a baby?" His eyes were shiny from tears of oh, god, tears of happiness?

"I…" My hands twisted out of his grasp and I hugged my legs tighter. "Uh." I swallowed, and looked across the room. I couldn't look him in the eye. Even though we had ended things, even though I hadn't cheated, I couldn't face him. "You aren't the father I don't think."

"What?" he jumped from the couch like I had burned him.

"We always used condoms."

"And? You slept with him? You fucking slept with him? Shit Steph!"

xxxxx

ok, ok!!! I know; its getting DEEPER!!!!! Will there be light at the end of this tunnel?


	6. Chapter 6

I heard the door slam shut. Damn it. What did I just do? I began to cry. Great wracking sobs. My life was an absolute mess. I mean a world class fuck-up of a mess. FUBAR wouldn't even begin to describe it, I maniacally laughed to myself. I can't believe I'm sitting here, over 30, with no prospects for a real career or future, no prospects for a family, and I just ran off a life time friend by kicking him where it hurt most. I was a horrible person; I deserved to be alone forever. Then I lurched at the thought I wouldn't be alone.

I would have a child. And my child wouldn't have a shot at normal. No, not with Stephanie Plum as its mother. And with Carlos Manoso as its father? Even less likely normal could happen. Damn. It would almost be better if Joe _was_ the dad. At least on alternate weekends my kid could pretend to lead a normal middle class existence. There would be 50 of its family that would pass as normal. As long as you don't examine the word _normal_ carefully.

I couldn't believe how badly I had just hurt Joe. I know we couldn't stay together; we were poison to each other. Or him to me or something. But I didn't _hate_ him! I closed my eyes and all I could see was the excitement on his face, standing in the doorway, holding that blasted, taunting paper bag. The happiness. The shock, yes; but then the happiness. Thrilled about the prospect of being a father. So different from the stony faced silence that had greeted me when I found the courage to share with Ranger. He did redeem himself a bit, when he said all the right things after telling him.

I couldn't help but once again examine why Ranger had said what he said; and why he had been so careful to avoid saying what somewhere deep inside of me I hoped he would say. I know that Ranger doesn't want to become a family man. I know this categorically. He has always made it a point to tell me he is not family material. He doesn't do relationships.

I could hear his whispered voice breathing onto my neck, lying next to me, in _his_ bed, in _his_ house. I could hear him telling me about how he wanted this child; how he loved me. 'I want this to be my baby' he had said, rubbing my stomach possessively. How could he be so different sometimes? He claims he's human but I didn't always believe him. At the least I thought he was two different people. One who scares the shit out of people, who is hard and angry and cruel. And then, my eyes closed I felt his fingers running along my chin, the words I love you rolling off his tongue with ease, with sincerity. I thought of the times I watched him when Julie was around…he was so incredible with her. So different. I wondered how he was around his sisters, his mother. And I began to cry again. All those things I didn't know about him!!!!

I must have fallen asleep contemplating this private, personal Ranger, the pillow wadded up into a ball in my arms. I woke again when I heard the door close. I looked up and saw Joe had come back. It had gotten dark; I must have slept the day away. Wallowing. Thank god that Vinnie's was slow lately or I would be out a job, instead of just not getting any work. Not that the results were different to my bank account, but at least I didn't feel at fault.

I rubbed my face and smiled wanly at him because he came bearing gifts of Pino's. A meatball sub and a large pizza. I was embarrassed by all that had happened between us earlier, but I was hungry and it smelled good. Very good. I realized that I hadn't eaten in a long time.

Joe's grin was apologetic and sad, but he laughed as he heard my stomach growling thanks. No words exchanged between us, he found his way around the kitchen getting plates and glasses. He came over and took my hand and pulled me out of the knot I had settled into. As I unwound my legs, he pulled me close to him and his arms surrounded me.

"Cupcake."

"Joe." My tone said 'stop calling me that. I am so sorry for hurting you. I am an absolute fuck up and why do you love me.'

"I'm sorry for my reaction." He pulled away a bit and looked down at me. "A baby?" He smiled at me. It was small, and tight, but it was a smile. "You're gonna be such a cool mom, you know that? I can see you leading mini-you _into_ mud puddles instead of around them," he murmured as his lips kissed my forehead. I punched him then. I didn't hit him hard, but how dare he disparage my ability as a mother! He let go of me, laughing, and tugged me into the dining area.

Dinner was a long and slow affair. Joe watched me eat. As I finished my fourth slice, after I polished the sub off, I glared at him. "What? I'm eating for two."

"Yeah, yeah."

And I didn't want to believe it, but I think we are going to be ok. "Joe?"

"Yeah?" he asked, wiping a bit of cheese grease from his chin with the back of his hand.

"Are we ok?"

"I guess."

We sat for a while longer, staring at our plates, out the window, at the tines on our forks. And then he opened his mouth.

"Manoso? Why him Steph?"

"Your heart doesn't always look for the sure bet."

"Your heart?" his eyebrow raised with something almost like concern. "Manoso isn't a bet at all."

I shrugged.

"Why do you think it's his baby? Why aren't you hoping its mine? I thought there was something a bit more permanent about us cupcake. I thought that's what we were aiming toward."

I couldn't answer. I didn't have one. I pushed out the seat and began to clear the table. I needed to move, and I needed to not get into this.

"We've been together countless times, hundreds, cupc---Steph. Why would you think its Manoso's before mine? Why would you _hope _that?"

"It's not necessarily that I hope it, Joe, it's more like I believe it. It probably makes more sense, doesn't it; to convince you it's yours? To convince myself?"

"Well?"

"Timing, mostly. I haven't just sat here wallowing. I did a little internet research. It seems like it is his." I closed my eyes for a second, feeling his hands caress my newly fuller, tender breasts; hearing him tell me again, how he knew their feel. I shook myself and continued, not willing to explain that part of my knowledge. Because then I might have to explain the heartbreak part too, when he walked away. Again. As he always seemed to do. The less I tell Joe, I thought, the more we may have a chance at coming out of this as friends.

"I have to accept the truth. I can't go around for nine months in this town, saying it's yours and then popping out a Cuban baby, can I? I would hate to have you hurt like that. What everyone would say about you. About me; us. I need to just face reality." I leaned against the sink facing him.

"Are the two of you going to do anything about this?" He waved his hand in the general direction of my stomach as he spoke; his eyes were almost watery.

"I don't know." I bit my lip and my eyes filled with tears. "Ranger is a very private person…"

"Cupca—Steph. This?? A baby? It _is_ his private life. You are part of it now, if it's his. If he is willing to claim it as his."

I bristled at that. "The one thing I do know, Joe," I retorted, "is that he will claim it as his. That part he made no argument about."

"How'd you leave it," he finally asked, standing at the sink with me as I rinsed the cutlery. Fuck. We didn't. He walked out. No! He had to work. There is a difference! I felt a tear roll down my cheek and turned my head to keep it from Joe's intense gaze, but he saw it. His finger flicked it away, and he turned off the water. He handed me a towel, and I dried my hands, unable to look at him.

He led me to the couch. I sat, and picked up my pillow and scrunched it between my chest and legs, hugging it, trying to keep it together. He sat at the other end, and his gaze was very un-Morelli like.

"What?" I finally spit out. His stare was making me cringe.

"You would rather admit to having a child by a one night stand than by me. I'm just trying to figure out where I messed up so badly, Steph." His voice was full of pain as he continued to stare at me.


	7. Chapter 7

"It wasn't just a one night stand. It wasn't that way," I whispered, mostly to myself; to convince myself. It wasn't. No. he loved me. Of course I didn't think as I said it; I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud. There was an explosion of anger from Joe as I had begun to contemplate what Ranger was to me, if not an extended one night stand.

"You were with him while we were together?" he was standing, red-faced and fuming, standing over me. "Fuck Stephanie!"

"No. No. Joe. Please." I was reaching out to him, to try to get him to calm down. But it was no use. He began pacing the length of the room, mumbling about how foolish he was, how he refused to listen to what everyone was always whispering behind his back about me and Ranger.

"No, Steph, I _defended_ you. I _always_ defended you in public. I begged you in private to stay away from him. But in public? I always was on your side. Fuck. What a fool I was. All this time, you've been screwing him too? How dare you even suggest something was going on with me and Terry!! He's a fucking gonzo sociopath killer!!! And you've been screwing him under my nose all this time?"

His voice was rising with every word. Soon even my hard-of-hearing neighbors would know what a terrible person I was. I was standing, trying to grab his arm, get him to stop; to listen. At last I was able to get in front of him as he turned and I stood my ground.

"Stop! Stop it right now!!!! Joe!" The tears were freely flowing now, my nose was snotty and my face was blotched and red. I was just shy of hysterical.

"I. Never. Cheated. On. You. Ever," I ground quietly and slowly through clenched teeth. "EVER. I love you Joe. Even though we are toxic to each other, I love you. I am just not _in_ love with you. Ranger, he and I… Well, we…."

I sighed and took a deep breath. Clear it all, Steph. Do this; make this break the permanent one you claim to want. I took another deep, centering breath and plopped down onto the couch. He watched me, hands clenched, taking measured breaths himself, trying to calm down. Waiting, I am sure to hear what story I was going to come up with.

Don't hurt him more than necessary, I cautioned myself. I looked him straight in the eye and began, carefully picking my words. "Once, a long time back, when we were on a break, I spent the night with Ranger. It was one night. _We_ were not together. The next morning, he told me to fix things with _you_, Joe. He didn't want to be in a relationship, but we both needed to explore the attraction that there was between us. I don't deny it."

I looked down at my hands, watching them twist and pinch in a nervous pattern. Saying it out loud like that, it almost seemed crude. He didn't comment, so I decided to keep going. "We tried, Joe. How many times have we tried? You and I can't live together. We don't work! Maybe we're too similar. Ranger has always been important to me. He has always had a faith and belief in me that even I don't understand sometimes. But he has never really indicated he wanted more than friendship."

"And the attraction thing; it ---well, it's been a challenge. We push. Each of us. Somewhere along the line, I discovered that his always saying he loves me, it began to really mean something. When Scrog almost killed him, I knew then I think. I loved him more maybe than I had ever thought I could love anyone. And it doesn't matter. Because he still doesn't want to be involved like that."

"I messed up. I'm admitting it. But I can't keep doing it. I can't fuck with your life, your head, just because I fell in love with someone who is so afraid of his emotions. More afraid than me." I laughed nervously then, because I recalled how many arguments we had had; Joe and I, over my inability to express my deeper emotions. Like love. Denial I am good with. It's the other, more subtle ones that give me problems.

"Ranger said he wanted the baby to be his. He said he loved me. And then ---." I pushed my head back onto the couch and studied the ceiling. "Then he left. Like normal. He's in the wind." I closed my eyes, trying to hold the tears inside. On a sob, I finished softly, "I don't know where we are."

Joe was quiet. He had stood, and listened to me, and not said a word; not interrupted my confession. I was incredibly thankful for that. The silence was damning though. After a time, I couldn't stand it any longer. I watched him as he leaned against the door jamb, staring at me. His eyes full of fear, fury, surprise. Sadness.

"You're in love with him," he finally stated.

Don't deny it Steph, I told myself. I whispered quietly, "I am."

I couldn't look at him; I went back to contemplating the ceiling, wishing it would fall on me and be done with it. I felt about two feet tall. I just destroyed any chance at keeping Joe as a friend. And Ranger? Gone. I am alone. Absolutely alone. No, not alone; I have my baby. The tears came again.

Slowly and silently they slid from my eyes and ran along my cheeks, falling quietly onto my crossed arms. I was making no sound, I wasn't shaking, I was just simply crying. My ears were clogged from the pressure in my head, my lips were quivering and I was struggling not to bite down so hard that they would bleed. The pain in my heart was something I had never felt in my life. I had never had my heart broken because I had never given it to anyone before.

And I had never spoken of my relationship with Ranger, such as it was, with anyone. Hearing the words spoken aloud, I realized what a naive fool I had been. I listened to my words as a spectator and I saw a fool allowing a sexy man to use her, to charm his way into her life, with no consequence. Shit. Was it really like that? No! He does love me. He just doesn't know what to do about loving me, I decided. And I didn't know what to tell him to make him accept my love, assuming he comes back and is at all interested in this.

We must have stayed like that for hours. Joe had slid down the door frame and was leaning, knees up, his arms draped across them, watching me. And I was curled into a knot on my side, on the couch. We didn't talk. There seemed to be no room for words any longer. My head was tortured by my imagination. I heard the little clock in the kitchen chime midnight, and it brought me to myself once again. I unwrapped myself and forced myself to sit.

"Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"What next?"

"I want it to be my baby Steph. I have sat here all this time, and I keep seeing you, holding my child in your arms, like I have always dreamed. Maybe we never will be right for each other for the long haul, but we were good together while it lasted, weren't we?"

I couldn't find my voice, but I nodded in agreement.

"You don't want to do this alone." It was a statement, and he looked at me for my answer.

"No."

"It could be mine, Steph. It could be."

"Joe."

"I know." I saw in his eyes that he knew it was a futile wish, but I felt somewhat assuaged by the fact he still held out that small hope. He stood up then, and moved toward the kitchen with his empty glass.

"Cupcake? Steph?" He called quietly, and I looked up to see what he wanted. He was standing at the counter, next to the black velvet box.

"What is it?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I was afraid to look."

He grabbed the note and the box and strode to the couch.

"What happened to Miss Curiosity? You are impossible you know that?" He grinned slightly as he sat and handed the box to me. He kept the note, turned it over twice. "I thought the one word thing was reserved for speech?"

I groaned at his small attempt at humor. I took the paper from him and I looked at the word BABE…and I could hear his voice, repeating it, in all his various ways, telling me things with that one word that I had never heard from anyone else. I heard his love for me in my head, and my heart clenched.

"Open it Steph. If he left it for you, he wanted you to have it."

I put the note down and held the box gingerly. I felt strange, doing this in front of Joe. I was sure that it was something meant for me, privately. Not for Joe to see. But I would look like the biggest wuss if I didn't open it. I grasped the lid and tugged. Lying in the cushioned box was a simple bangle bracelet. It was small, gold, and had 'Ricardo' engraved onto it. It was somewhat misshapen and a bit beat up. It barely circled my three fingers together. Ranger's baby bracelet?

I lost it then in Joe's arms. I don't know what he was feeling right now but I know that I was overwrought. "He'll be back, Steph. He loves you," Joe whispered into my hair, and I heard the pain in his voice, and the sad acceptance.

I grabbed tightly to Joe and looked over his shoulder at the tiny bracelet in my fingers; rolling it around them, playing with the small clasp and chain, imagining it on his tiny little wrist. I thought of the baby pictures I had looked at the other day. That could be our child. I stifled another sob. Where was Ranger?

xxxx

Where IS Ranger? What is going to happen next? Your guess at this point is as good as mine (well, mine is a TINY bit better...) thanks for reading and for all your enthusiastic reviews!


	8. Chapter 8

Why So Twitchy Babe

By Aliaslaceygreen

(JE's; All JE's…etc, blah blah.)

I woke with a strong need to pee. I groaned and carefully pushed myself up to get of bed. I glanced at the clock… 2:30 am. Four hours without peeing; I think it was my new record. I shuffled sleepily toward the bathroom, rubbing my rapidly expanding belly, and silently thanked Joe for remembering to turn on the nightlight before he left.

Getting back off the toilet was another matter. My center of gravity seemed to be constantly changing. I felt like a ninety year old as I propelled myself up and shook my head as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the door. Where had my body gone and would it ever remember what I used to look like? And they tell me it's barely started. If one more person laughs when I say something about being a whale! 'Oh, dearie, it's the last three months that will shock you.' Thank you, Mrs. Bestler. I'm positive I will explode if I get much bigger.

I looked at my body again, from the side. The nightlight cast a soft glow and even the garish orange and brown tiling wasn't as horrifying at 2:30 in the morning. I ran my hand along and down and under my belly, silhouetting the shape of my stomach through my nightgown. "Baby M, it's a good thing I love you already, or I'd be angry at you for making me look like a beluga," I responded to the kicking and movement that had awakened me in the first place.

I smiled softly then. My son. I wondered if he recognized my voice. My hand moved to my necklace and I lazily fingered the bracelet, my mind wandering to the day Joe bought me the gold chain from which it dangled. He told me I needed to keep the faith; that Ranger would be back. He had scrounged around the messy living room for the bracelet box and removed the bangle. He slid it onto a chain and fastened it around my neck. I cried. Of course. What _hasn't_ caused me to cry in the last five months? His arms encircled me and the tears fell.

Joe has been so wonderful, I realized anew. He has given me the great gift of his friendship, and a shoulder to cry on. He had kept the promise he had made and didn't pressure me about our relationship. He accepted, far more gracefully than I would have, that we were done; but he didn't want to lose the bonds we had created. And he silently was rooting for Baby M to be a Morelli, not a Manoso. I knew that. He had promised me he would always be available for Baby M. His unspoken words almost told me that if Ranger didn't survive……If he didn't return, that he'd consider Baby M to be his, no matter what. But I wouldn't discuss such possibilities.

I thought about how embarrassed he had been a couple of months back, when he first met Jocelyn. He wanted to ask her out but was afraid to tell me. We had out-maneuvered all of the expected questions about the baby; to this moment, no one in the Burg was able to get a straight answer from either of us; of this fact I was foolishly proud. I tugged at the necklace, squeezed it as I sent up a prayer-type thing for Ranger's safe return; a little ritual I had found myself repeating throughout the day, and this time I added a silent thank you for a forgiving friend.

I flipped off the light switch, and then realized I wanted it on. My brain function in the middle of the night leaves something to be desired. I better get over that issue I reasoned, because in a few months, I'd be up in the middle of the night all the time. With that not so comforting thought in my head, I shuffled back to my bed. As I got ready to sit on the edge, I felt his presence.

I turned slowly in the darkness, and there was Ranger, lying atop my blankets. I sat with a thud. I opened and closed my mouth, but no words would form. Ranger was back. My hand grasped the necklace and I squeezed it tightly. I reached out my hand, sure I would be touching a mirage, a fantasy, my dream come true; but as I did his hand snaked up to grab mine and his voice was low and rough as he whispered, "Babe."

His hand was warm. I was stunned. I hadn't quite made my voice work when he said softly, "You looked beautiful, standing there in the doorway, with the light at your back." As he spoke his hand moved to my stomach and he rubbed it in a lazy circle. I recalled the last time he had done that. There was nothing but the knowledge of a child that time. The memory caused me to come out of the stupor I was in.

"Ranger. Oh, my god, Ranger. You're safe!" I looked deeply at him and saw the lines of exhaustion surrounding his eyes. They were dark and hooded, and his face was gaunt. His hair was shorter than when he left me. I lay down beside him, and he gently tugged me into his embrace. His lips found my forehead, and the kiss he placed there was warm and seemed endless. Through it he shared with me all of his fears; and his hopes and regrets. With that one kiss our connection was completed, like electrical circuitry. Just at this moment did I grasp how much I had missed him; how much energy I had been expending, waiting for his return.

I rolled onto my left side and stared at him for long moments. His eyes didn't blink either. We were both so caught up in this dream-like stage of reality. I noted after a time that his eyes were fighting to stay open. I had no idea where he'd been or how long it had taken him to come back. I needed to be the one to break the spell.

"Ranger. You're exhausted. You need to get some sleep." He blinked then, and made a move to sit, to leave, but I pulled him back. "Close your eyes. Sleep here." He looked at me and I read the questions in his eyes. "Of course," I murmured. "Where else would I want you to be but close to me…?"

I realized then that he had no idea what we were about. He didn't know if it was his child; he didn't know if I had waited. I looked at him then, with full knowledge of his apprehension. He looked younger as soon as his eyelashes fluttered to his cheek. I wanted to protect him in that moment. I wanted to prevent any harm from ever touching him.

I reached my finger out and ran it gently along the hard angles of his face. "I am so glad you came back." I whispered so softly my voice was barely heard.

"Babe."

"Sleep now," I crooned, running my fingers through his hair.

"I've been up 38 hours trying to get back to you," he tried to explain.

"Rest. I'm not going anywhere. I will be here in the morning."

"Babe." I heard thanks in his sigh, as sleep overtook him.

I lay in the dark, the moon mostly absent, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest; memorizing the planes of his face, and envying the long silky blackness of his lashes. Our son will look like you, I thought. I couldn't pull my eyes away from his face. I kissed my finger tips, and placed them on his cheek before whispering "I love you" and closing my eyes. I don't recall ever being happier in my life.


	9. Chapter 9

Xxxx

Twitchy 10

I woke, and the first thing I realized was that it wasn't to go to the bathroom. Huh, imagine that. The second was that I had had the most realistic dream of Ranger while asleep, and I knew without a doubt that he was safe. And my heart danced with the knowledge. I could (not so patiently) wait for his return forever, now that I knew he was safe. I moved around under the covers, stretching in my padded prison, the name I had given to my bed since I had been put on bed rest.

All my friends, my family even, had been trying to make bed rest a bit more enjoyable, a bit less like a severe case of house arrest. If only Ranger could see me now! Staying put like a good little girl. He wouldn't believe I was the same person who escaped every time he had ever so much as threatened me with going to a safe house. But I would do anything I needed to do to make this baby grow healthy and stay put long enough. I tried not to dwell on the fact it was possibly the only part of Ranger that would ever belong to me. I tried not to dwell on the idea that Ranger might never return. I tried not to dwell on the fact that there was a tiny chance that it could turn out not to be Ranger's baby.

I smoothed out my covers over my huge stomach, reveling in the satiny feel. Ella had gotten me a comforter and some sinful sheets like Ranger had in his apartment. I had been overjoyed when she had shown up with them a few weeks ago, but I couldn't quite explain to Joe why. It seemed like poor sportsmanship, describing while drooling how much of a sensual experience bed linens could be, so I just kept my mouth shut. I luxuriated in my little cocoon, trying to recall who would be my maidservant today.

Marylou had been here yesterday, and my mother the day before that. It was Valerie's turn, I thought. Yeah, that would be good. She'd bring donuts with my breakfast. But that would mean tomorrow would be Tank. And Tank, well he kind of took this godfather-to-be thing a bit seriously. He said Ranger would want me to eat healthy. Ugh. Lester was a bit of a softie and I could get him or Bobby to bend my diet just the tiniest bit. But Tank. Well, I better savor the donuts today.

I massaged my tummy. Baby M was getting a bit feisty in there. Bet I have to pee shortly, I mused, wondering how long it would be before he would try to kick my bladder into the end zone. I think have a football player on my hands. I wonder if Ranger likes football. Hmm. "Another thing I don't know about your daddy," I quietly told my son. Add that to the substantial list I already had. Uugh.

I finally opened my eyes and saw the sun was fully up. I glanced over at the clock. 7:30. My caffeine craving had never gone away completely; today I was even imagining the scent of it wafting on the air. Breakfast, sans coffee, would be here soon. As I scooted up a bit I got ready to grab the extra pillow to place under my legs. I had a routine to follow, you know? Breakfast, and a shower before my keeper leaves. TV, then some computer; then some reading, and phone calls and visitors.

I grabbed at the pillow, and squinched my nose in confusion. It looked like there had been someone lying there. There was an indentation. I placed my hand into it. Cold. It was only a dream, Steph, a dream. Oh, but it was a nice one. I could feel his lips, warm against me. And it was the most comforting and completing kind of feeling. I felt loved. And alone. I groaned to myself. This was non-productive. And I was generating bad vibes. And that was bad for Baby M. "It's ok, baby, your mommy is just the slightest bit loony this morning," I murmured to my stomach, and I tucked the pillow under my legs with conviction.

As I settled back with the remote to turn on the TV, I heard the sound of a chair scraping back from the dining area, and then I heard the front door click open.

"Fuck. What the hell? Jesus fucking Christ Manoso." Joe was here? Where was Val? _Ranger?_ What was Joe talking about? Joe spoke again, and he sounded irritated. "Put the gun away." There was a moment of silence, and I guessed that Ranger had pulled his weapon when Joe used his key to get in. Ranger wasn't a dream?

"Fuck." Ranger. That _was_ Ranger!

"Daddy's home finally, huh?" Joe continued, his voice spiteful and rude.

"Damned straight. What are you doing here Morelli?" I didn't need to see it, I could hear Ranger's blank face slip into place. I closed my eyes and I could envision him standing with his arms folded across his chest, staring Joe down.

"I could ask you the same thing, Manoso. It's been a damned long time since you've shown your face." Joe was pissed. You didn't become friends and stay friends with someone for so long without recognizing pissed. Italian pissed was something I was especially good at recognizing.

If I wasn't so curious as to how this would all go down; if I wasn't about to waste any of my precious 15 minutes out of bed getting between the two of them, I'd march right out there. But I didn't take the nickname Miss Curiosity lightly. I wanted to know what Ranger was thinking. And I wanted to know what Joe was thinking. I held my remote, figuring I could always turn the TV on to distract them if things got too heated, and I settled in, my ears open for every nugget of information.

"I returned from my mission late last night." And then silence. Joe didn't seem to realize that was all Ranger was going to share. But the sentence was complete, and had more than three words. Manoso scores.

"She know you're here?" Joe finally responded. I could imagine him tilting his head toward the bedroom door. Weak, Morelli, I thought. No points for that pathetic attempt.

"She was still asleep when I got out of bed." I looked to the side of the bed where the pillow had been, and I thought of last night. It wasn't a dream. But no points, you didn't answer the question I thought; needing to keep focused. Although you slam-dunked the being in bed with me part. Smooth.

Dead silence. I could tell each was willing to out-wait the other. Amateurs. They don't even know how to have a decent cat fight! Men!

Surprisingly it was Ranger who broke the silence. "So, the reason you're here?"

Dammit Joe, don't you go fuck this up, I thought. Don't you dare make any insinuation that we are back together!

"Mary Alice got sick and stayed home from school, so Val asked me to pinch-hit." Aw, poor baby. She was looking forward to a class trip to the zoo today.

Ranger didn't respond, but he must have lifted an eyebrow or something that indicated that Joe continue speaking.

"Steph didn't tell you?" Watch it buddy, you're getting mighty close!

"Tell me?"

"Aw, shit man, sit down. Is there more coffee?" I heard Joe moving about, and Ranger pulling out a chair. If Joe didn't start talking in like 19 more seconds he didn't know what was going to happen, but I did. Ranger tolerates being ignored for a very short period of time.

I could end this, I knew it. All I had to do was hit the power button, or even just call out to them. But it's been pretty boring around here lately. Staying in bed all day, once one of my fondest wishes, just wasn't panning out like I expected. Go figure. It must be because someone else is demanding it of me. Hmm. Thoughts to ponder. Six seconds left. Shit I didn't realize Morelli liked to live on the edge.

"Steph has had a couple of complications with the pregnancy." I aimed the remote.

"Is she ok? The baby?" I could hear emotion creeping into Ranger's words. Stunning.

"Doctor has her on bed rest. She's been for the past 3 or so weeks. We all take turns pampering her. Three squares, company, any errands she needs to have us run. There's like nine of us so it's not too demanding of anyone. No one wants anything to happen to her. Or the baby."

I could tell Ranger was staring him down, because Joe continued rambling. "Don't worry, the boy is healthy. Steph is healthy. It just seems being pregnant isn't something her body likes. She's had really high blood pressure. Fainted a few times. Some swelling. Tried to go into labor last week. The doctor says all of these things alone aren't a worry, but together, well, he prefers she not take any risks."

I heard silence then. "It's a boy?" Ranger finally stated.

"Yeah. Baby M, she calls him. She keeps telling me it's for Mateo, but I think she wants it to be for Manoso." Joe's laugh was mirthless as he spoke and I felt sorry for him, I really did. But he was right. I wanted with my whole being for this to be Ranger's child. And now that he was back, I wanted Ranger too.

I thought maybe I better interrupt them while I was ahead. I didn't want to wait too long and hear Ranger say something like 'good luck Morelli' and walk out of my world. I couldn't stand it if it happened. And why did I think it would happen? Damned hormones.

They were silent. The fight had gone out of them both. It was weird, thinking of them sitting companionably drinking coffee together, discussing me. Wrong even. Especially the part where they got coffee and I didn't. I was about to call out when Joe cleared his throat. "Well, now that the A-team is back, I guess the second string can go home." His chair scraped the floor. As he got to the front door he called back, "She's got a doctor's appointment at 1:30."


	10. Chapter 10

Twitchy 11

I have to decide quickly! Do I pretend to be asleep or let him know I heard it all? Shoot! I know I don't have long before Ranger comes marching into the bedroom. Asleep. I dropped the remote on the floor, pulled the pillow out from under my legs and snuggled into the comforter, eyes closed. Probably wouldn't fool him for a moment, I considered; but before I could change my mind I sensed a shadow blocking the window's light. My mattress settled slightly as Ranger sat down on the edge. His hand came to rest on my stomach, gently massaging me. I could feel him lean down to me then, and his sweet breath blew into my ear as he whispered, "Mateo, huh?"

I opened my eyes and he smiled his 1000 watt smile at me. "You're busted Babe."

"You're not a dream," I smiled back at him, and sat up, letting his arms settle around me and pull me into his orbit.

"100 real, babe." His voice was a miraculous thing, a song for my heart.

"I was so afraid." My heart was beating a mile a minute. I didn't even know how to begin to tell him all the things I learned about myself, about us and our relationship these past months, alone and waiting for him to return. Afraid he wouldn't return. Afraid he would return and not want anything to do with me, or the baby after having all that time to think.

"Babe." That four letter word was magic to my ears. He could have written a novel and not told me as much. I could hear everything in that word.

"Ranger." I sighed.

"Shhh," he whispered against my hair, soothing me. "Mateo?"

"Do you like it? I haven't settled totally," I lied, looking up at him. Mateo, Baby M, had become a real person; I didn't know if I could change it if he hated the name.

"It's mine?"

"I want it to be. I can't find out for sure till he's born. And he's been a bit anxious to get here, like Joe told you."

"Are you really ok?"

"Yeah. Both of us are healthy. But this is the last child I have, I can tell you that! Bed rest Ranger!!! Having you put me in a safe house is gonna be a cinch in the future!!!"

His laughter reverberated through me. It was a deep, silent laughter that shook his sides. Even his eyes were laughing. God I love him.

"Mateo is perfect, babe. It was my grandfather's name. Abuela Rosa will be thrilled you honored him." He picked up my hand and kissed it, then placed it on his thigh. "When are you due?"

"August 12."

"Babe."

"What?"

"That's my birthday." I could sense a smile, but it was one of those hidden, you have to know it's there kind of smiles.

"It is?"

"Yeah."

We settled back and didn't talk any more. Just feeling his arms, his strength; I was soaking it up like a sponge.

After a time, I twisted in his arms. "Do you like football?"

"Babe?"

"Did you play in high school? Do you watch it on TV?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't even know. I didn't even know your grandfathers name or your birthday! I am having your baby and I don't even know those little things about you!" It came out a bit whinier than it needed to but adrenaline was pulsing through me. Ranger was home; he was safe.

"Babe."

"Raaanger." Damn, can I whine!

"In high school. Sat on the bench most of the time. I watch it on occasion. I don't really have time."

"Giants or Jets?"

"Steelers."

"NO!" I punched him playfully. "Well that settles it. As much as I wanted it to be your son, I am going to have to say no now. It better be Joe's baby. At least he's a Giants fan. The Steelers???" I made an exaggerated 'UGH' face at him and laughed.

I was sensing by the shadow in his eyes that I had gone too far; and he proved it when he began to tickle me on my side as we lay close together on my bed. I was gasping for air and laughing; his face was light and playful and my life was so perfect! Ranger slowly turned the tickling to rubbing and began to nip at my neck and kiss me along the edge of my chin, nuzzling and murmuring to me how much he had missed me.

The atmosphere changed almost immediately. There was a hunger and a yearning in his voice. "Babe," he growled huskily, "This is my son. It will not be Morelli's." He licked my neck as his hands found my belly and he splayed his fingers across it possessively.

Oh god, what if he really is Joe's? I had been plagued by the guilt, the confusion, the uncertainty all through my pregnancy. "Range…."

"Mine." He stated firmly. His fingers found the chain around my neck, and he scooped a finger through his baby bracelet. "Mine, babe," he tugged at the circle. "Mine."

"Joe offered...to well, if you didn't come back….if it was your baby, he said he would stick by me anyway….raise Baby M with me."

"You and Joe have stayed pretty close."

It wasn't an accusation. It wasn't really a statement. But there was a question in his tone, one that told me he was wary and somewhat uncertain. Ranger, uncertain. That would take some getting used to. I had thought about what I would tell him about Joe and I when he came home. I know a good number of people in my life truly believed I would end up with Joe, especially after Ranger's disappearance lengthened. It was hard for my friends and family to understand Ranger's life. That a mission wasn't a choice. That he hadn't left of his own free will. It was something, in truth, that I had a hard time accepting. But I knew it to be true. Ranger loved me. I just wasn't sure if his love was enough.

"Joe is my friend. He and everyone, well they've been lifesavers to me, Ranger. Joe knows ….."

"What babe?"

"He knows how much I love you. He's been very supportive. Actually he is the one who calmed me down finally, after you left. After he and I had a blow out over this," I said, rubbing my stomach, "he's the one who convinced me that you would come back."

"I have had a lot of thinking time in the past 5 months, Babe. Too much head time. I've come to the same conclusion. Just as Ron loves Julie as his own, babe, if this is Joe's child, it won't make a difference. He will be my son too….and you will be my woman."

He sat up then, and reached around his neck, tugging at the chain that was under his t-shirt. It was his dog tags. He looked for the closure on the chain, slid the tags off and pried open my palm. He placed the dog tags in my palm, kissed me on my cheek, and set the chain on the bedside table. Nibbling along the edge of my hair line, his fingers reached for my necklace. He undid the clasp, removed the tags from my palm and slid them onto my necklace.

His arms surrounded me as he laced the necklace around my neck again. He re-closed the latch of the chain, and the dog tags and the baby bracelet settled into the valley between my breasts. His fingers trailed the length of the chain, hooking the bracelet again with his finger. And they continued beyond, as he whispered into my ear, "Someday is today babe."

Epilogue.

I stood at the sink, looking out the window to the back yard. Mateo was determined to get the walking alone thing solved. Today.

His single-mindedness always made me smile. Ranger was squatting on the ground, arms out, encouraging. Joe was sitting cross-legged with Mateo on his lap, a few feet away. Mateo was currently taking a break from the plan, plucking at the grass with his chubby little fingers. I was going to have to take his baby bracelet off soon, I thought, noticing how it fit around his wrist, and my fingers reached unconsciously for the dog tags around my neck. I could put it back where it belonged.

They convinced me this was the way to do it. No coffee tables, sharp edges or hardwood floors. They had been out there for an hour now, the baby toddling and crawling and climbing on them, giggling and having the time of his life. 'Come to daddy,' I heard through the window for the hundredth time. "Go on Mateo, walk to Daddy," Joe said again, and released his hand. Mateo took off, wobbling and attempting to run into Ranger's waiting arms. My eyes lit up with love as I watched my son reach his father without faltering once. Ranger tossed him in the air and laughed. "That's my boy." I heard his giggles and my heart exploded with love.

THANKS to everyone for your enthusiastic response to this story!!! It makes me happy to hear your reactions!!!


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